Wednesday, August 13, 2008

10 Ways to Enjoy Your Life Even When He/She's Cheating on You

When my husband had an affair with his ex girlfriend (who was the same person he cheated on me with when we were still engaged), my world collapsed. He spent one night at our house and the rest of the week at her place openly. He constantly told me that he will divorce me and kick me and our son out of the house. It was a horrible "Dark Age".

One day I just decided to call it off. After years of insincere prayers (I did my daily prayers just because I had to, not meaning them), I start opening my heart again to Him. I started living my life as if nothing bad ever really happened. I started smiling again. Laughing. And loving.

And it felt great!

Here are some things I did in the past that might help you to get through your "Dark Age" and came out a winner.

Prayers. I wasn't much (and even now sometimes) of a religious person, but when all else fails I just turn to this method to release all that burdens me. When I don't know what to say, I simply ask "Dear God, I'm tired. Take this off of me and do whatever you want with it." Not much of a prayer but afterwards I feel relieved
Manage your life. Look back and see what you've messed and left behind during your "Dark Age". Try to make a lesson out of it, and tell yourselves not to do the same mistake again, and keep it that way.
Apologize. Yes, apologize to your spouse or partner ignoring the fact that she/he was the one who's cheating on us. We don't get smoke if there's no fire, so there must be something we did that didn't suited her/him. Simply say "I'm sorry for what I did that makes you do what you're doing." That's all. If you say more and she/he's not in the mood for even looking at you, you'll get only havoc.
Smile. Start smiling. Sincere smile. Even to your spouse or partner and their boy/girlfriend. I once read that smiling will make you feel better. It does, even if it's only slightly. And somehow, I think that will give your partner impression that you're not annoyed with what she/he is doing and they will start wondering
Stop and smell the roses. Start appreciating things no matter how small. You will feel so blessed even with your present condition.
Allow yourself some fun and happiness. Try not to think or worry how your relationship/marriage is going to turn out, leave that to Him (that's why #1 is a must do to be able to do the rest of this list). Go out. See some friends. Share laughter and joy instead of tears. Have fun!
If you have child(ren) and you've been treating them not quite good during your "Dark Age", talk to them and apologize. I don't put this high on the list because I believe that you have to feel good about yourself before you can do good to others, including your own family.
Put on some make up or nice outfit. During "Dark Age" I didn't really pay attention on how I looked, I kept concentrating on my pain and forgot to look after the most important person in my life.. ME! So I started doing some exercise, putting on some make up, and even buying nice clothes which I rarely did previously. I lost some extra pounds and my friends were complimenting how I look. I even had one or two extra fans which make me feel good about myself.
Treat your spouse/partner nicely. It is tough, I know. Been there done that. But somehow this just might be the way to get them back, if they really belong to us.
Mean it. When you decide to enjoy your life, mean it. Really mean it.
Remember, this life is about YOU. You deserve to feel good and have fun no matter how bad others treat you.

When your spouse/partner is cheating on you, it's THEIR lost, not yours.

I sincerely wish you the best of lucks and keep you in my prayer list. Oh and by the way, my husband has never been so loving and adoring me now

Nita Prihanto

Freelance Writer

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